discovered this too!
i'm in love...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
summer. pray pray pray.
I had my mind pretty set on being in school next term. With the transition of hopefully getting into a joint majors with poli sci and psych, I was planning on being in school for the next 4 terms including summers to catch up. I don't want to graduate later but when I think about it...i'm not sure why? What do I have planned that can't happen a year later? What am I even going to do after undergrad? Grad school can always be postponed a year...a year seems long but when I'm older, 10 years from now a year will seem like nothing...but then I'll be 25 when i'm done with school, I feel like that is so old >_<
I'm really unsure as to what to do at this moment. Should I do a missions trip in the summer or go to school? How will this affect my graduation and admittance to grad school if I get in...I just realized that if I was just doing my honours psych degree, I could be done in the summer...a little scary haha
BUT since I'm doing polisci I can either graduate in fall 2012 or summer 2012 depending on what I do this summer AND that'll effect when I start grad school...
ahhh I don't like thinking about these things, I guess cuz everything is so uncertain, I have no control and I don't want to make the wrong decisions. I really just need to pray and trust God but it seems so much harder to do. It's so hard to just let go and have faith because I want to know what's going to happen and how my life should unfold, I want to have control but that's what I struggle with, truly trusting in God :( must pray pray pray!
I'm really unsure as to what to do at this moment. Should I do a missions trip in the summer or go to school? How will this affect my graduation and admittance to grad school if I get in...I just realized that if I was just doing my honours psych degree, I could be done in the summer...a little scary haha
BUT since I'm doing polisci I can either graduate in fall 2012 or summer 2012 depending on what I do this summer AND that'll effect when I start grad school...
ahhh I don't like thinking about these things, I guess cuz everything is so uncertain, I have no control and I don't want to make the wrong decisions. I really just need to pray and trust God but it seems so much harder to do. It's so hard to just let go and have faith because I want to know what's going to happen and how my life should unfold, I want to have control but that's what I struggle with, truly trusting in God :( must pray pray pray!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
a new year, a year for growth and a year for change
I thought I'd change the look to my blog :) I realize I wanna start new and start fresh. I need to change my way of looking at things and my attitude. I need to learn to focus on change in myself to grow and become better.
I find it hard to believe in myself at times and I guess I don't have much faith in myself. It was really 'weird' hearing my dad and sister telling me that I had a lot of potential and seeing just HOW much they believed in me. It makes me wanna do more and achieve the potential that they can see in me! Instead of always being afraid to aim high and being scared of failure, I need to aim high and just do my best. Who knows where things will take me, there are so many opportunities out there and so much support in a variety of issues and activities, I just need to not be afraid to get out of my comfort zone.
I'm also learning that we truly need to live each day as if it were our last. I learn so much talking to my dad, he seriously is so wise! But as a child I remember thinking my dad was a superhero, he was undefeatable and nothing could stand in his way and even now, he still is my superhero :) but growing up I'm learning just how weak we are as humans and how life can be taken away just as easily as it is given...
SO this year, it's a new year and it's a year for growth and change! I need to learn to be more confident and not be afraid but to trust God with my life and plans.
I need to show my appreciation and love more to my family and I need to live each day to its fullest with no regrets! Life is too short for having regrets, we need to live in the present, do what we can as who we are wherever we are! We are who we are for a reason and we are where we are for a reason! :D
I find it hard to believe in myself at times and I guess I don't have much faith in myself. It was really 'weird' hearing my dad and sister telling me that I had a lot of potential and seeing just HOW much they believed in me. It makes me wanna do more and achieve the potential that they can see in me! Instead of always being afraid to aim high and being scared of failure, I need to aim high and just do my best. Who knows where things will take me, there are so many opportunities out there and so much support in a variety of issues and activities, I just need to not be afraid to get out of my comfort zone.
I'm also learning that we truly need to live each day as if it were our last. I learn so much talking to my dad, he seriously is so wise! But as a child I remember thinking my dad was a superhero, he was undefeatable and nothing could stand in his way and even now, he still is my superhero :) but growing up I'm learning just how weak we are as humans and how life can be taken away just as easily as it is given...
SO this year, it's a new year and it's a year for growth and change! I need to learn to be more confident and not be afraid but to trust God with my life and plans.
I need to show my appreciation and love more to my family and I need to live each day to its fullest with no regrets! Life is too short for having regrets, we need to live in the present, do what we can as who we are wherever we are! We are who we are for a reason and we are where we are for a reason! :D
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I have watched the most movies in the last few days than I have for a while haha :P
I watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader Saturday night and Black Swan Monday night...both were really good!
Black Swan...haha I'm not too sure what to say about it but Natalie Portman was amazing! The movie showed really well the pressures people are under I think and how easy it is for us to succumb to temptations and basically do whatever we can to get what we want...also shows how weak we are as humans...
I really really liked Dawn Treader! I felt that it was soooo applicable to what we struggle with everyday. It talks about evil spirits and how it's so easy to fall into temptation and how each 'spirit' is shaped into what we individually struggle with most. It also shows how sin can turn us against one another when really we need to be working together and loving each other. There was this one part where Eustace turns back into a boy from a dragon and he says something along the lines of "no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't do it on my own, and then Aslan appears and scrapes off his dragon skin, at first it's kind of painful, but it was a good kind of pain." I guess that just reminded me of how so many times I try to do things on my own and rely on myself when in the end, we are weak and we can't do it on our own! Also when things don't go as we planned, it hurts but in the end, God is in control, He knows the bigger picture and has a better plan for us...it's hard to accept sometimes but that pain is a good kind of pain and it is that pain that helps us grow :)
AND it was a good reminder that we need to focus on the present, what we can do now and how we can be used now rather than dwelling on the past and having regrets!!
It was really such a good movie! CS Lewis has so much wisdom! And then the funny thing is, the sermon on Sunday was also similar to the movie in that our 'enemies' are not those of flesh and blood but the system...how everything is set up, the pressures we have, the stereotypes there are...which reminded me of Romans 12:9-10...'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
It can become so easy to dwell on the bad of people and think that it's them and that's all they are and forget to see the good! We just need to love people constantly which is something I struggle with...easier said than done >_< BUT we can't do it on our own right? hehe funny how everything kinda ties together :P
I watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader Saturday night and Black Swan Monday night...both were really good!
Black Swan...haha I'm not too sure what to say about it but Natalie Portman was amazing! The movie showed really well the pressures people are under I think and how easy it is for us to succumb to temptations and basically do whatever we can to get what we want...also shows how weak we are as humans...
I really really liked Dawn Treader! I felt that it was soooo applicable to what we struggle with everyday. It talks about evil spirits and how it's so easy to fall into temptation and how each 'spirit' is shaped into what we individually struggle with most. It also shows how sin can turn us against one another when really we need to be working together and loving each other. There was this one part where Eustace turns back into a boy from a dragon and he says something along the lines of "no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't do it on my own, and then Aslan appears and scrapes off his dragon skin, at first it's kind of painful, but it was a good kind of pain." I guess that just reminded me of how so many times I try to do things on my own and rely on myself when in the end, we are weak and we can't do it on our own! Also when things don't go as we planned, it hurts but in the end, God is in control, He knows the bigger picture and has a better plan for us...it's hard to accept sometimes but that pain is a good kind of pain and it is that pain that helps us grow :)
AND it was a good reminder that we need to focus on the present, what we can do now and how we can be used now rather than dwelling on the past and having regrets!!
It was really such a good movie! CS Lewis has so much wisdom! And then the funny thing is, the sermon on Sunday was also similar to the movie in that our 'enemies' are not those of flesh and blood but the system...how everything is set up, the pressures we have, the stereotypes there are...which reminded me of Romans 12:9-10...'Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.'
It can become so easy to dwell on the bad of people and think that it's them and that's all they are and forget to see the good! We just need to love people constantly which is something I struggle with...easier said than done >_< BUT we can't do it on our own right? hehe funny how everything kinda ties together :P
Monday, January 10, 2011
it's been awhile since my last post :P I thought I updated during Christmas break but I guess I was having too much fun :D it's kinda hard to believe that another school term has started. I'm starting to feel the pressure a bit now that it's 3B and I need to think about grad school. I've decided to do a joint major with psych and poli sci and switch out of arts and business...I never actually understood why I decided to switch into business. Yes it does open up opportunities but business is not for me. I don't really know why it took me so long to switch into poli sci...I mean i'm still not super certain that this is what I want to do but it does make my future look a little more clear.
I've always had a heart for children and injustices, something with human rights but I never really knew what I could do with that and psychology. I'm taking an intro psci course this term and i'm learning about such interesting stuff! There is so much knowledge I need to learn and engage in I realize regarding the world, international relations and just issues that are going on. It's kind of exciting :) and scary at the same time...I think I wanna learn all this and maybe do something with global governance? There's a grad program for that that i'm aiming for but it's kinda scary...I guess i've always been a bit afraid to aim at things because i'm afraid of failure? And aiming for this grad school makes me freak out a bit but I think it's also making me realize that I've never accomplished fully the things I wanted to because I never thought I could...AND it's making me trust in God haha
so hopefully things with transferring my program will work out :) and then I guess once that's settled I can seriously look into grad school :P
I've always had a heart for children and injustices, something with human rights but I never really knew what I could do with that and psychology. I'm taking an intro psci course this term and i'm learning about such interesting stuff! There is so much knowledge I need to learn and engage in I realize regarding the world, international relations and just issues that are going on. It's kind of exciting :) and scary at the same time...I think I wanna learn all this and maybe do something with global governance? There's a grad program for that that i'm aiming for but it's kinda scary...I guess i've always been a bit afraid to aim at things because i'm afraid of failure? And aiming for this grad school makes me freak out a bit but I think it's also making me realize that I've never accomplished fully the things I wanted to because I never thought I could...AND it's making me trust in God haha
so hopefully things with transferring my program will work out :) and then I guess once that's settled I can seriously look into grad school :P
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