Christmas!

I LOVE Christmas!!! I always forget how great it is to be with family and friends again, just sharing in laughter and FOOD!!! We had our Christmas service tonight :D It was so nice to see everyone home! The turkey was SO delish and Heidi's neopolitan was amazing as always!!! We also did our super last minute performance! hahaha it was so great :P We did it to N'sync's Merry Christmas Happy Holidays and i'm sure the parents quite enjoyed it!

Now I need to pack for NY! I'm super excited!!! It's gonna be so much fun! We met up today to plan out our itinerary and what we're gonna do! I'm looking forward to it so much especially since we got to customize it ourselves! We're leaving tmr morning at 7 -___- hahaha I don't think i'll sleep tonight :P We're planning on seeing a Christmas show featuring the Rockettes, finding a cheap broadway and going around doing all the touristy stuff like Soho, Wall Street, the Rock, Statue of Liberty...and hopefully guggenheim too! hehe it'll be fun! I've been to NY before but only for half a day so it'll be nice to explore the city! We'll be spending Christmas in the car tho haha driving 10 hours tmr ><

anyway I SHOULD start on packing :P

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

hehe I like this song ^^


gah!!! It feels SO nice to be done =D Although my last exam didn't go that great it feels good not having to study anymore and getting to sleeeeep! haha

The only semi-stressful thing left is Christmas shopping :P but I love buying gifts for people and wrapping them up and making it pretty so it's still enjoyable! I just need to get everything done on timee~

I can't wait for Christmas!! I lovee this time of the year!!! :D:D:D:D

one more exam left!! I just want to be doneee! I have no motivation left to study haha

so this morning...wow...God is good is all I can say. Today kinda started out a little dull cuz I only had 2 hours of sleep last night and I was sooo tired! I felt kinda bad cuz I was definately fishing during service...

anywayy I find it really funny and crazy at the same time how things are never as you plan them out to be!

It was so scary today...I basically couldn`t stop my car and I hit this lexus in front of me...I was freaking out a bit cuz I was just thinking this did not just happen to me. I did not just hit a car, and frikkk I need to study, I dont wanna pay for fixing it and stupid insurance is gonna go up etc... but the strangest thing happened!!! We both put on our hussle lights and got out of the car...and the woman was just like, nothing happened right? There was no collision...I was like uh...right...and then she's like ok we're good then? have a nice day and she got into her car...I was soooooo confused!!! But I suspected that her daughter was driving illegally without a license...

anywayyyy I just thought that I was so lucky and it's weird how things happen or don't haha

i realize this post is all over the place kekeke but my brain isn't really functioning properly right now i believe...

what i'm trying to say IS things happen or don't regardless of whether or not we plan for it but it's crazy how things just work out or we learn so much from it etc...

hahahahhha ok i think this post is not gonna make any sense because my thoughts aren't making sense in my head either

SO i'll just share with you this song that i am recently really liking :D

Psalm 119:33-40

33 Teach me, LORD, the way of your decrees,
that I may follow it to the end.
34 Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.
35 Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
36 Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.
38 Fulfill your promise to your servant,
so that you may be feared.
39 Take away the disgrace I dread,
for your laws are good.
40 How I long for your precepts!
In your righteousness preserve my life.

Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might.
~Ephesians 6:10

praying for strength, for change, patience, love and humility...

The Drunk and The Hypocrite

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/church/features/23449-the-drunk-and-the-hypocrite

I just read this article and I really like it. It relates to what i've been thinking about lately.

I guess I've been going through some things and I've turned to friends who I thought would be supportive and loving and nonjudgmental but I haven't been received that way. Though it may not have been their intention I realize that Christians can be very judgmental. I think it's harder, the more you learn and the more you grow in God's word...you learn to see ways of how you should live your life or what God has called for you to do. I think it's harder because sometimes when you see things a certain way and people around you may not, you try to implement what you think on them and become judging and very unloving...though that's not what you may have intended nor is it what Christians should do...

I don't want to sound hateful or anything because I'm not...but as a Christian, when my Christian friends do that to me I am turned away very muchh...how can you expect a non Christian to come running into your arms?

Christians...meaning Christ-like should have that same love that Jesus had. Jesus never judged the prostitutes or the poor...he just showed his love. When I seek friends, I want advice, encouragement, support and love. I don't want judgment. I appreciate criticism out of love but that is very different from judgment.

This was from the article: "When we begin to slander other believers in the name of God, we know we’ve gotten off course. Did our Master’s words fall on deaf ears? “Love each other as I have loved you.” “Let them be one, Father, even as we are one.”" I really believe that. When you try to implement the 'rules' on others and judge others when they are out of line from how youuu may perceive the world...that just gives Christianity a bad name. Why are a lot of people turned away from Christianity? I believe that judgment can come from no one from God...no one has the right to judge anyone. We all make mistakes, we're all imperfect, what makes you believe you are greater than another person to judge them.

When Christians judge other Christians or non-Christians it just seems that they are placing themselves on a higher step...like they're more holy...no one has a right to do that. How is that showing love? How is that showing Jesus? How is that being Christ-like???

I truly believe that as Christians we just need to love...have to love...LOVE... I can't even fully understand it but God's love is SO great! I really believe that LOVE can change things and that LOVE is so powerful! ...if we can just LOVE...who knows what that will bring!

learning to love and trust You more

maybe its being couped up at home all by myself the last few days but suddenly i just really miss my friends...

i miss talking about food and tv shows and boys and life and shopping and absolutely everything and nothing. i miss just laughing and playing games and eating and sitting and enjoying company...

i dunno know why but suddenly i just miss everything... i'm going through old pictures and videos and i just miss when being together with friends was easy. i dont want to grow up. i dont want to have to make decisions and figure out my life. i just wish i was a kid again when my only thought was when the next bsb cd would come out...

i feel like friends are drifting away and its so hard to stay together...how do you keep in touch? am i the only one that wants to? when we're all together it's like time hasn't passed...we have fun, we enjoy each others company, things are great...but as soon as we're separated it seems like we don't exist in each others lives anymore. we dont even know what goes on in our lives...

i miss being able to just talk...talk about everything, talk about my day, how i feel, what's bothering me, what's exciting, what's going on...i miss that comfort of having those friends around me who know everything about me and still love me...

WHY do i feel like this? -_______-

This semester has honestly gone by so fast!!!! I can't believe there's only a month left...right now I feel like I have time (and I do if I use it wisely and don't waste it haha) but really...finals are gonna come so quick! I can't wait for Christmas though!! :D My favourite holiday of the year!

I was actually reflecting and talking with a friend and I realize it's so easy to forget the significance of things. We were looking at John 2 and Jews easily forgot the significance of Passover. We also tend to forget why Remembrance Day is important. What's the significance of Christmas?

When I first think of Christmas I'm so happy! Its a break from school!! I get to see and spend time with all my close friends again. It's a time for friends and family to gather together, to spend time with each other, to have chocolate fondue, to play in the snow, to decorate your house and Christmas tree...only after awhile I remember...right Jesus was born on Christmas day. It should be the first thing that comes when I think of Christmas though and it should be something that i'm excited to celebrate. It just becomes so easy to hide things and disguise the meaning of things that I easily forget God in my everyday life let alone a day to celebrate His birth :/

So my goal for this week is to challenge myself to remember Christ in every decision I have to make...big decisions or small decisions, I will pray about it first :]

today is a good day :]

I am so happy for this whole week. It's been absolutely gorgeous out!! If we could only have this weather all year round :] I love the crisp cool air you breathe in and the crunch of leaves when you're walking outside. It feels so gooood! :P hehe

I feel that today is a good day! :] Even tho I sprained my ankle last night, am in pain and can barely move, and even tho I have an exam in 3 hours that i'm not quite ready for...the sun shining in through the window, the reminder of having good friends and family around me and a certain peace i'm feeling right now... :] tells me that everything's gonna work out fine!

teehee :P thanks esther!

so today I got up and was so motivated to get things done, finish my assignment and have things accomplished....obviously it's not happening. I've literally been staring at my blank word document for the last 30 minutes. I feel so incompetent haha so lost as to what to do :( i guess this is kinda a reinforcement that i'm not into research? heh...at one point I started considering it again...I thought it'd be fun to research your own stuff and find things out...but I guess i'm not really into that?? I don't really know...maybe cuz it's so hard right now and I can't figure out what i'm supposed to do and that's why...but seriously I have no idea. >< just want to finish school! although i'm not even sure what I want to do after haha seriously I wish I could just become some photographer for a magazine and just travel and take pictures...that'd be pretty awesome ^^

omgus >___< i don't know why it's so hard to focus! I feel like I have so much to do but not accomplishing much :( i'm so tired...and it's wet and raining outside

BAH i just want to play :) school is tiring haha. my brain hurts :P

I went to My-Thai today. really yummy!! :) from the outside it looks a little sketch but once you go inside, it looks sooo nice! it's really big inside too and the decorations are so nice...so pretty :) not what you expect from looking outside. the food was also super yummy! :D and price was not bad either :) hehe it's amanda approved :P i think there are a lot of places like this in waterloo...must find them!! :D

back at caritas... :/

It's a weird feeling being back at Caritas after leaving since the summer. I've missed the core members and the summer and the community and house then...but coming back, SO many things have changed. Core members are still the same but at its different too because you have a different relationship when you're living with them. The workers here too are new. I mean there are still many of the same ones, but the community has changed for sure. I've also been informed of some news that breaks my heart...there are just so many changes happening to the community and it's not what I expected coming back here. I thought being here would be just another day from the summer...and in many ways it still is, I guess I just feel a little out of place too though now that i'm not a live-in.

Well I still love Stratford! You get bored when you live here but after not being here for awhile I loved visiting my favourite shops and cafes :) Even just walking around town and taking pictures. I enjoyed doing that today :D I ate this delicious turkey wrap with mango chutney and swiss cheese AND this amaaazing North African peanut butter pumpkin soup at the Alpha Beets soup and juice bar. It was so delicious! Then I walked around town...visited Gruv! My favourite :) and the Shakespeare gardens...took some sick pictures :) Then I went to Sputnik and had this amazing hazelnut mocha ^___^ I studied for a bit there too hehe.

I love the cafes here! They're so good. I need to find some awesome ones back in Waterloo :)

anywayyy should probably get some sleep since I have to work tmr morning too...the house is so different too haha. I miss my caritas room :P but another live in is using that now...I feel displaced hahahha :)

I fiiiinally got my AMP cd! :D which makes me super excited! bahaha I was playing it on my dad's computer...with the bose speakers, wah so good. hahaha if only I had a CD player in my car... :P

ALSO today I finally called Rogers. After so many months >< I have to send in my phone and then I think they'll check it to see if I've inflicted any damage on it...if all is good then i'll get a new iphone!!! :D yayy! I hope I do..seriously I've had problems ever since the first month! and now everything is SO slow and always freezing! Sooo hopefully that works out!

I also want a new camera... -______- mannn they're SO cheap now! gahh I need to make do...be satisfied...i'll just save up and then invest on lenses instead :) oooh BUT hehe I forgot how wonderful dealextreme is! They have all these camera accessories...so like bags and extra lens caps and all that jazz AND they even have a lens mug! which i've wanted for SO longgg!!!!! They actually have it!!! hahaha I ordered one :P I can't wait till it comes but it'll prolly be like a month!

anywayy my phone has finished updating so PEACE OUT HOMIES :D

what a wonderful weekend :) I had so much turkey, so much cake and SO much sushi :D hehe why can't we do this ALL the time! and of course I was with my favourite people! I have such bad idis right now haha sleep is quite tempting...

hehe ticket for TML vs. Red Wings game :)



It was so fun! My first NHL game :D andd we WON! haha prolly the only game we'll win against Detroit this season...since we got owned the night before when they played their good players. haha -.- I think i'm gonna follow TML again...haha I gave up on them since they actually sucked so much...but i miss them :P I'm so glad I got to see Kaberle yesterday! I liiiike him! :D:D It just sucks that Toronto will pay so much for the games even if the team sucks...maybe if the tickets stopped selling out, then they'll think about drafting some good players -_- anywayyy just excited I got to see a gamee! :)

there are so many good youtube artists...for reals mangg

currently enjoying ClaraC.

beautiful people.

I really like AMP and this by Sam Ock! :)

Two exciting discoveries of the day:

1. Eating plain almonds while drinking coffee at the same time = deeeeelicious :D

2. Ampmovement! Some really good music!


hehe food and music always makes me happy :) now i'm excited because almonds and coffee can be my new study snack and amp will be my new study music!!! yayyy!:P

on a side note...I feel like I should totally write a book of awesome. I would have so many awesome things to put in it...discovering new food and music...this being one of them :D

"Beauty is a precious trace that eternity causes to appear to us." ~Eugene Lonesco

tablet!

I just got a Bamboo Pen Tablet!! :D hehe I'm so excited...bad timing to get it though cuz I should be studying instead of wasting time playing with it :P bahaha but now editing photos will be so much easier :D

...I wish I got a macbook now instead too...only reason I got mine was cuz it was cheap. But macbook is so good for editing stuff and battery life...ahhh mine is frustration, can't even last halfway through a 3 hour class -.- haha but I must be content...atleast it still works I just need to make do.

okAY...should do some work before Mikeys -_______-

adorkable

...hehehe i like this word.

because dorky...a little bit of dork is adorable :P

I've been at DP since 11:30 this morning -_____- and for the most part i've been pretty good :) I've been focusing but regardless I haven't had much accomplished...I really just don't know what to do...I feel so incompetent at times. I have to figure out what topic I want to do for my research in social psych and I know what i'm interested in, but I have no idea how to operationalize it, what I'm looking for or even just journal articles for my lit. review :( I'm also just frustrated because I spent the last 3 hours working on it but I feel like I've got nothing done, and I could've used this time to work on my other stuff...although i'm starting to learn that there really is no waste of time (unless you're like watching dramas 24/7...haha which at the moment I totally would not mind cuz then you don't have to think about anything >_<) but ya...I guess there really is no waste of time cuz you can learn something in everything you do...maybe even from dramas -.- haha

ahhhh AND i'm SO cold right now! haha I can't work when i'm uncomfortable...espeically cold. Right now I totally wish I brought my big black sweater and knee high socks with my docomo slippers :P hehehe and a nice cup of hot tea :D

OOOH! On an exciting note, my friend invited me to go watch the TML vs. Detroit Red Wings game next Saturday :D I'm pretty stoked about that since I've always wanted to go watch a hockey game but have never had the opportunity :D

...guess I should stop wasting time and do some work hehe :P

miss you girls...

time to go...?

ahh I feel so restless...I've been studying everyday but i'm still behind :(( I just want to travel!!!! There's this thing where you could go abroad for a month and get a TEFL degree...and then I could teach english for a year after I graduate...I also just want to study abroad...

I have no idea what I want to do in school and what I'm gonna do when I graduate. I just want to go out and experience things, see things and learn things. I've been reminded that being a student is the time to do just that...to go out of your comfort zone and try things, to experience new things and grow. As a student we have so many opportunities and I don't want to look back a few years from now and have regrets because I didn't go out and try things. I want to do as much as I can and experience as much as I can so I can't say that I didn't get to do this or that because I didn't try or I was too lazy. I want to have the opportunity to decide whether or not I want to...I know I have to be realistic but is it really crazy to go to somewhere like Prague and get a TEFL degree and then Australia to study abroad? I feel like if we don't do it while we're students, it's going to be even harder once we've settled down as working adults...

My friend told me that I always say a lot of things and always want to do a lot of things but that I never actually go do them...and as much as I hate to admit it, it's true. I have a lot of dreams and aspirations, things I want to try and experience and see...but I just say that and never actually go and do it. I guess whenever I think about doing things I always get tied down by the responsibilities I have here...whenever I start thinking about it, I remember my 'duties' here and I can't just pick myself up and go...I feel if I do i'm just being selfish...

I dunno...I would LOVE to study abroad and immerse myself in a new culture. I would love to see new things, experience new things and meet different people. I feel like by doing that, you're opened to so much more than if I stayed here...whether these things are good or bad...but I feel regardless...everything in life happens for a reason and you can learn from every experience...I would really love to be able to go...I feel also that by learning all these things that are new to me, I can also learn about myself, who I am, and possibly be able to see what I'd want to do in the future with my life.

ahh these are all just thoughts...and again I feel like i'm just talking and thinking and I don't feel like it's realistic...but I guess whether it happens or not depends on me right? Instead of just sitting here and thinking, I should do something about it? There's just so much that needs to be thought about though...I mean if it was just me, I'd go right away...but it's not just about me...there's so much that I need to take into account.... >~<

I guess prayer would be good haha...all God's timing whether things happen...but I need to cease the opportunity??

i should be studying but instead i spent the last hour and a half on flickr -___- haha i miss taking and editing photos...if i could just do that for school then i would looove it :P

my classes this term are so hard!! i am already feeling the pressures of 3rd year and it's only been the first week :/ i am SO excited -.- haha

The first week of school is always so chaotic!!! I'm feeling much better about it though. I feel like slowly everything will slowly fall into place :)just keep praying and trusting.

I saw this somewhere, prayer is more for a change of our hearts than to move the hand of God. :)

classes start in 3 days!!! -____- right now i'm still a little stressed because my classes have still not worked out! i'm not really sure what to do right now...do i just go to all of the classes just in case i miss something? Should i just take something else all together...should i still switch programs?!!! ahhhhhh! school always makes me stressed :( hopefully things will work out, i guess i really just need to trust God with my direction right now and keep praying :/

wow. I can't believe it's September already! This summer definately flew by like crazy. I had an amazing trip to the west tho :) I will put up some pictures here soontimes :) Life seems so chaotic now that I'm back in loo. I just feel like there's so much that needs to be done but so little time!

vacation week

so this week has been good times.

a new assistant from germany came on monday and she's living at the house. it's been nice having someone else here :) we had a bbq monday night at karla's and she has the cutest puppy ever!

tuesday was pretty laid back, we went canoeing again :D that was fun but i got a really bad tan line...i need to start thinking about how to work my tan otherwise it'll look weird for heidi's wedding! hahahaha

today was amazingggg! hehehe obviously cuz spain won and i was watching the game with 5 other germans! it was so awesome when they scored! haha i was so happy when they won but when i looked around at my friends and how depressed they were i felt so bad i really couldnt show my happiness! hahah it was AWESOME tho! seriously i so hope they beat netherlands and win the world cup! they've never done that before!!!

anywayy i need to take a shower and wash off all the face paint! haha

hehe so i had roasted marshmellows yesterday :P it was soooo goood! haha i went back to strat early and went out with the other assistants to have a bonfire :) fun times

spain is playing soon =___= i am nervousingggg i just wish the game would start now!!! haha

it's MONDAYYYY!!! only. haha -.-

i like having my time aways thursdays and fridays...that way i can sleep in a bit on saturday! haha

I can't believe it's only monday tho...need another break i'm so tired physically and mentally...and i'm craving cake and icecream and chocolate. and roasted marshmellows.

but i was good and guess what i just made to snack on. brocoli! haha just boiled

ok i'm gonna go do something productive now...whatever that is :P

helloooo :)
i am so exhausted! haha this week has been so long :P not much happened tho. My house leader's birthday was on Saturday so we had cupcakes and yesterday we had a bbq :) that's pretty much the most exciting stuff thats happened!

...well...i guess you could say i officially got initiated! haha this one core member used to always throw fits, roll around on the ground, throw things etc and she finally threw a fit on the ground with me yesterday. haha it went better than i thought actually :) today she was having episodes and sometimes i feel so mean but i just ignore her. it's a strategy that's used to show her that she needs to have adultlike behaviours...yaaa haha

i'm just looking forward to go home tmr! I just wanna sleep and do nothing...except watch spain win! :D which they better :P

:) I know i've gotten lazier on posting :P haha it's just everyday is a routine now and nothing too exciting happens :P

I had my long weekend this weekend so it was nice to be at home and rejuvenate. It was so good to hang out with friends and see fam too :) Yesterday my coworker and I decided to rollerblade to the gym. HAHA! So that's my first time rollerblading! omggg! I thought when we were going down the hill I was going to die. I was holding on to the back of her though so she basically saved my life! The whole way there I was holding on to her and she had to push me at some points too! It was hilarious...we were going up a sidewalk so it's slightly slanted right...I kinda rolled back towards her while she was going up so we collided a bit and I wasn't sure if there was someone recording it on their phone -.- haha it might've just been a old man trying to use his phone. It was really funny tho. I was sweating by the time we got there. It normally takes 5mins to rollerblade there, it took us about 20? haha and the rollerblade cut into me so hard my skin ripped -.-

so I guess that's the most exciting thing from yesterday :P we watched men who stare at goats...hahah it's funny. But ya not much else :)

PS SPAIN TMR!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

We went to a cottage today as a community for supper. We had a BBQ and it was so nice there! makes me wanna have a cottage :P The water was sooo nice and it stretched on forever! It was also so close by. I think we only drove for about 1/2 hour. Yaa I enjoyed that. It would be so nice to go there in the summer and just chill and swim and have a bonfire :D

ya...so other than that not much. We had spring cleaning today so we cleared out the shed and threw out so much stuff...haha we need to do that at home >< I watched glee! It was so good, can't believe it was season finale :( no more till september.

anywayyy work is good. I'll miss it when I have to leave :( CAN'T wait for world cup!!! :D

so not much has really happened for me to update about :P everyday is just kinda the same now. you get into the routines and there's not really much else.

i came back from my time away yesterday :) ppl were over and watching i love you man. hahah pretty funny movie! i went to the gym today :) it felt so good! they have a steam room too! hahah very niice :D every saturday we also go to bentleys for beer so we all went together with the core members.

ya...nothing really interesting to write about :)

wow. hahaha i have been super lazy with blogging!

uhm...it's been an amazing time since I last blogged tho! I had my long weekend from the 20-23. It was nice cuz everytime I have my time away I don't feel like it's enough. You get settled into holiday mood and then you have to go back to work...so long weekend was nice :) aaand I saw iron man 2 which was awesomee!

on Monday there was a party at a retirement home where some past members had moved to. We didn't do much, just had cake and pop :) that night some assistants came over and we played Yahtzee! haha it was funn

Tuesday was SO much fun! During the afternoon, some assistants and I went canoeing and paddle boating on the Avon River. It was such a nice time! We went under a fountain and got soaked which felt so nice cuz it was so hot but the water is so disgusting! It smells so bad!! hahaha it was fun tho. We had forum that night so it was a community event and that night Maria came back from her vacation :)

on Wednesday the assistants got together again and we played soccer. hahaha I CANNOT play soccer! It was so embarassing! I had so many opportunities to score and goal and I still missed! hahaha BUT the nets were smaller!!! haha it was fun tho but SO hot! We played at a field behind Zehrs so we went in to buy some popsicles afterwards :P then we decided to chill on the patio sets in front of Zehrs! hahaha there were just the perfect number of seats and we just sat there till we had to go back to work!

then it was Thursday again!!! Which meant I got my time off :) I went to Toronto to visit mama q and had an awesome time! :) I have found my favourite store! :D :D :D :D

now it's Saturday and I have off for 5 hours til 5 cuz I miss out on my time off on Wednesday. Maria and I went biking and rollarblading around and went to visit one of the other houses. It was nice being outside...I need to work on my tan ;) hahaha

anywayy now I have an hour left and I think I just might nap :D hahaha :P

Long weekend this week! :D It'll be nice to have a longer break :) Today was really nice. I had a great day with the core members. The one who is usually more difficult was in a very good mood. She was so happy the whole day. It was so nice to spend time with her :)

I took a nap during my 3 hours today. Yesterday some assistants came over and we just hung out and chatted until almost 2:30am >< haha it was fun though :) we tried to play cards but failed cuz we didn't all know one game or we didn't have enough cards :P It was a busy day yesterday. We had a meeting in the morning and worship at night. During my time away I went to McD!! I planned on going to William's cuz I have a free cake coupon but I walked to a Will's closer to my house andit was so small it had absolutely nothing! McDs was close so I went and they had $1 coffees!! :D That was awesome! I also had a craving for their fries so I got fries and ice cream :P So bad I know but soo good!

I was planning on baking some cupcakes now but I don't feel like it anymore haha. Maybe I'll do it when I come back :P

a fun and simple day =]

Today was really fun! :D We had a formation meeting in the morning and so after me and 3 other assistants went to eat lunch and hang out. There's this hot dog place...AMAZING! It totally reminds me of the 80s. There's no place to sit inside so you just order at the window and they make it for you. There are benches outside so you could eat there instead. They are known for their foot long dogs, known as the 'foot long headquarters'. Anyway it was pretty good. It was like a trucker stop y'know...truckers driving for a pit stop! haha Me and 2 other assistants were wearing plaid too! (totally not planned!) After the footlong dogs we went to a playground! Man I have not had so much fun on a playground since elementary school I think! We went on the swings, the teetor totters, the monkey bars and we played grounder for an hour! It brought back so many fun memories where we actually went outside and played!!! haha it was awesome! We went to get slushies afterwards and sat by the lake for a bit. I haven't had such nice simple fun for awhile so I really enjoyed it! :D

Besides that, nothing too exciting :P I banged my shin on the slide so it's bruised and painful. I also found out today that my wisdom teeth are growing out -.- I thought I got lucky and didn't have to deal with it but I've been having this pain on my gums for awhile. At first I was thinking maybe I wasn't brushing well but today I could feel my teeth coming out. I'm so scared and totally not looking forward to having to get them pulled. I'm such a wimp when it comes to things like this. Hopefully by a miracle, I'll have enough room for it to grow! ><

We also had ribs tonight. which I did not make but totally thought i'd mention cuz they were delicious! :D

OH and I've been watching dancing with the stars every week now cuz that's the only thing that's good on tv... and I really like Evan Lysacek. that is all. :D

I went to a catholic church today. It was pretty interesting...very different from what i'm used to and comfortable with. Their worship were hymns and for communion, people go up individually. The priest also wears a long white robe and he reads, there is dialogue between the congregation. It was a little uncomfortable because they give so much respect to the priest and the cross. They bow and when the priest stands up, the whole congregation also does. There are 2 children that carry candles and follow the priest. People also kneel down on the ground when the priest prays...it was a very different experience for me. It got me thinking though. I mean, ya the way the service ran was nothing like i've experienced before, but why is there always this seperation between Catholics and Christians? We all worship the same God and believe in the same thing. We read the same Holy Bible!

The message today was about being bold, being light and being different. It struck me because I have heard this sermon many times. The only difference is that my pastor says as Christians we need to be able to show God's love to the world instead of as Catholics. I mean, I don't know deeper stuff or details, but Catholics and Christians all worship the same God. Just as all churches and fellowships are part of the body of Christ. It kills that there are always tension and argument going between churches and within churches. We're all part of the same God.

Anywayy that's my schpeel :) They are also all dressed very nicely haha good thing I wore a skirt :) I got to sleep in till 9 this morning! It was awesomeee! :D:D I also went on an hour long walk with a core member. It exhausted me and I fell asleep on the couch for like 10 minutes >< haha it was ok tho :) Tomorrow will be a busy day so the more sleep the merrier :)

I was SO tired today! haha seriously...I don't know why. And today espeically, one core member had so much energy, I went on a walk with her and went around a track for about an hour. I thought she was gonna kill me haha

Nothing much happened today :) I slept till 8, we had quesadillas for lunch (which were delicious and I didn't make)and chicken for dinner! I found out I actually really like thousand island dressing :D On Saturdays, it's also a tradition to go to this restaurant for drinks. We go with the core members and the one core member has been going for years every Saturday night!

Hopefully it'll be an easygoing day tomorrow. Weekends normally are more laid back and one core member is at her dad's so I don't think it'll be too busy :D

I'm gonna take a shower and then SLEEP!

wow! My last post was sunday!! I suck! haha I have been way too tired to even turn on my laptop though ><

There's not too much to update. Yesterday was a free Tuesday which was nice, we didn't have meetings or anything like that. On Monday I went out with some other assistants for lunch. That was kinda nice since I hardly get to mingle with people my age. Today was pretty lax too. I've been taking hour long walks with some of the core members everyday so I get lots of exercise! It's been so cold tho! I'm so glad it finally warmed up today!

I made shrimp stir fry today and sausage mac and cheese yesterday and baked chicken and homefries on monday! I daresay they were quite delicious! hahaha I like cooking :) I get to experiment with so many different things! The only thing is, they have to experiment with me whether or not its good! hahaha but its fun! I wish I could bake more...try some new things :)

anyway I'm glad I get to go home tmr. In some ways it's nice but at the same time not. It's so nice to be able to just rest, but it's so short so it just leaves you wanting for more...and then you have to get back to the swing of things. It's definately a good break though! I'm glad I didn't have to give these up to get August off. I think I would've had a mental breakdown or something! haha

Anywayy I'm doing well! My house leader told me how he was praising me at his leaders meeting hahaha and then he was like you owe me a coffee! hahaha I'm enjoying it here! The people are amazing! It's exhausting and tiring but definately worth it :)

So today was my first 'official' Sunday here. It's so dead on Sundays. Everyone is at church or something like that. I went on 2 walks with a core member and it was so nice to get out of the house! I was supposed to go to a first communion this morning but turns out we went to the wrong church. I didn't know what church it was at so we wasted $16 on the cab just to go there and back -.- oh well.

not much else happened today so not much to update on :)

I can't believe it's May and it SNOWED today!! It SNOWED!! What happened to the sun?! It's so rainyy and cold :( Makes everything so gloomy and sleepy haha

Today was pretty chill :) one core member went to visit family and 2 are pretty independant so I was just taking care of the one. The assistant that was supposed to be with me got sick so he went home early. It was just me today :P I didn't do too much. I tried to do some work for my prof but couldn't really concentrate >< I made pork loins and french fries today :) I wanna make some sweet potato fries!! But we don't have any -.-

anywayy I have to go see a first communion tomorrow. It'll be interesting I think. I've never been, and it's a white church so it'll be different than what i'm used too...so we'll see! :)

I am tired!! I'm glad to be heading home today :D

This morning I sat in on a meeting and it was pretty cool. All this stuff I'm learning in class actually all slowly comes together now :) we talk a lot about therapy and different cognitive issues and implications of that in class and here you learn about it in real life situations. Pretty cool. I definately need to learn more and fully too.

Yaa~ psych is still awesomee haha

ubi caritas et amor

Live in charity and steadfast love~ we sang this song at Taize yesterday. I learned that 'caritas' actually means charity...in latin i'm presuming. Taize was nice. It's sort of a worship type thing. You go there, there's music, prayer and silence. It was really nice...I kinda realized what i'm lacking here. I haven't been able to go to church here in Stratford and there's no weekly fellowship...it's kinda hard without a solid group here and ya just musical worship in general. I'm going to see a first communion this Sunday though haha :P

Today was another usual day. I didn't do much. I decided to walk further than I normally do, but things seems a lot closer when you're driving than when you're walking. I was walking for about half an hour but didn't really get anywhere haha. I ended up going to DQ :) It wasn't one where you can sit though, it's only to go so you order and leave. Since I had nowhere to sit, I just sat inside a bus stop :P haha it was kinda nice actually. It was one of those glass covered ones with the bench inside, but the door faces opposite the road. So I just sat there for awhile eating my icecream :) I also bought a book today!! There's so much I want to read!

Anyway, I found someone that works here that's from Waterloo so I can hitch rides back home with them :) Thank Jesus :)

oooh PS! I made chicken fried rice and spring rolls today. I was gonna post up a picture but i'm too lazy to upload it -.- It was aiight. The rice was pretty good but the spring rolls were kinda bland. I didn't put enough seasoning. I also made the wrap a little too thick I think and it got soggy. On a brighter note, they just drenched everything with plum sauce so I don't think anything would've made a difference. A pro to living with non-Asians is that really bad Asian food to our standards tastes amazing to them! :P

so it's been awhile since my last post :P not too much has happened...I went back home Thursday and Friday and stuffed myself with sushi :D Saturday was so lax and Sunday, all the core members went to the Jays game so I went to another house and basically watched TV all day...i got a headache -.- haha

TODAYYY!!! kekeke it was gonna be just a regular day BUTTTTT I got some visitors!! :D :D Jo and Esther came to visit and that was just awesome! It felt so nice to be able to spend time with my girlies :P We just had lunch and walked around but it was an awesome 3 hours! It's just not the same being able to spend time and see good friends! Espeically since it's been awhile too!! so that definately made my day!!! :D If it weren't for that today actually would've been really crappy and tiring. One of the members was just super grumpy today. She banged on the table at dinner and swore at everyone. My coworker, the other one that usually lives in with me left for her vacation today too so i'm doing overnight by myself. Let's just hope that nothing happens...it shouldn't...but you never know!

I'm starting to feel more the responsibilities of the house now. I guess since i've been here for 2 weeks now and i've gotten into the swing of things so work really begins! haha :P

anywayy super exhausted now so i'm gonna crash for the night :)

I think the days feel longer when its closer to your time away. Tuesdays are just long in general. Yesterday was just full of meetings and forum and today...it wasn't really long but it seemed like it since I get tomorrow off!

I went to a cafe today and sat there for about 2 hours just journaling and sketching :) It was some really nice time to myself. I also made my pork chops and scalloped potatoes!! I must say they were quite delicious :D It was a success...thanks MOM! <3 Everyone liked it! :D

Anyway, this is super short, partly because nothing interesting really happened and also because I am just super tired! I feel like an old lady that gets tired super early and with cramps everywhere! and i'm not even 20 yet! -.-

Caritas: Day...?

It was so hard to wake up this morning! I am so tired :( I didn't do much but it was a bit hard falling asleep yesterday and so I wasn't very well rested :(

BUT! Today I learned to knit! hahaha or actually, I'm learning to knit. Omgoshhh it's a lot harder than it looks and it takes so much concentration but i'm gonna knit a scarf by the end of this summer! :D I also went to Fabricland today and bought a whole bunch of fabric for projects I have in mind :) Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish them :)

My weekend was very nice! It's nice being back home and seeing family and friends. It's always just not the same being somewhere else.

I've also officially 'graduated.' haha I can bathe one of the core members on my own now :P Also, on Wednesday, I have to cook...it's supposed to be pork chops and potatoes...uhm...I have absolutely NO ideaa how to cook that!! I tried using the stove today and it started smoking -.- they also do not have soya sauce in the house...at all! I did not think myself as very asian, but I have no idea how to cook pork chops and potatoes. The only pork chops I can think of are my dads and there's no way I can make that here. They have a lot of spices but no sauces and usually Chinese food is saucyy! If you have tips, PLEASE let me know!!

Anyway, tomorrow is going to be a longgg day! Tuesdays are always the longest so I'm gonna sleep early early!! (This is so sad, it's not even 10 and I want to sleep :D )

Carita House: Day 6

I've made it through my first week!!! almost...haha :P

Today was a really nice day, probably the best i've had so far :) The morning was good, I shadowed getting one of the core members ready for the day and just hung out with another one. At noon Clara and Soms came to visit! We had lunch at Pazzo's...delicious, we chilled, hung out and made triple bond bracelets!! hahaha :) It was nice to just have a break away from everything and just be able to spend time with good friends :)

After they left, I went with my house leader and another core member to the race track and drove around for a bit. It was really nice and I really enjoyed it :) We played tag at the track and it was just a good time to interact and get to know each other...except that I ducked making my house leader fall when he was trying to tag me and I got a couple scraps on my ankle! Haha it was pretty funny though :P For the drive we just drove around...don't even know where...around the countryside...it was nice just chatting with my house leader, he's pretty cool :)

For supper we had RICE!!! I was missing rice so that was nice...although it really can't add up to asian rice... it was still a nice substitute :) We went for another walk after that with 2 other core members and my house leader and again, just more interaction time :) I really like being able to spend time with them. You get to know them more, their personalities come out and I just had a lot of fun :)They're all so special and unique and they're funny!!

It was a good week but I am definitely looking forward to my weekend back home!! :)

Carita House: Day 5

Sorry I didn't post yesterday :) I was so tired I fell asleep at 10:30 haha -.-

Yesterday was a nice day :) I met with the assistants coordinator in the morning to figure out some stuff and during my time away I walked around downtown again. I discovered such a nice place. I love it! It's called the Shakespearean Gardens and it's in downtown but you go into it and it's so peaceful. There are flowers and trees everywhere and a cute little gazebo. The lake runs through it and there are all these rocks you can just sit on and chill. It's so nice and quiet, such a good place to just read or write or draw :)

I also ate at this place called Boomers...its actually pretty good. They have really good fries there and the burger was so juicy! haha

I love my time away! It's such a nice break to get out of the house, explore the city and just have some time to myself.

Today I went to the Tango Cafe and Grill...it was okay. It looked cooler on the outside. I discovered this other little street though with cute little shops. It'll have to wait for me to explore :) I love the shops in Stratford. I found this other place today, it is quite dainty hahaha. It's really cute, they had like everything in there are scrapbooking, journaling, exploring, really nice :)

Ya, Stratford is pretty nice to explore. It's such a small town but there's so much room for creativity here! The houses are so cute too! :P

Things have been going well :) I know it just takes time at first but i'm thankful for my time away cuz it's kind of an outlet to just get away from the house sometimes. The house is not bad and I love the people here but to be in it for a long time does kinda get a little exhausting! I can't wait for my weekend to go back home and see family and friends and get rejuvenated!! :D

Carita House: Day 3

I can't believe it's only day 3! haha it feels like its been awhile already. I find it kinda hard, it's hard to mingle and feel comfortable. I feel much more comfortable to be myself with the core members than with the other assistants...maybe cuz I feel like they won't judge? And the assistants are all friends already so it's hard to try and squeeze myself in :( and ya...i dunno...I feel inadequate sometimes. I don't really know what to do so sometimes I just feel so useless or like i'm getting paid to watch TV, but my house leader was telling me that I guess this is how L'Arche is. You kinda learn everything slowly, you observe and learn personalities and then you learn to love them and care for them. You can't really think of it as a job but rather that this is a house in which I live and live life with them. It emphasizes on community and a family life which is really good but right now it's just hard to fit in. I know it's only been 3 days, but still...it feels weird...I just wanna go crazyyy haha :P

On a brighter note, I did get to explore the city a bit today :) I walked around 'downtown.' haha I dunno if it's classified as downtown, kinda like Waterloo uptown. It's pretty nice though. It's just a small town with a lot of really cute shops and cool cafes! And of course the lake!! It's absolutely beaUtiful! :) There are SO many swans too...like literally 20 of them...haha Waterloo park swans seem ghetto compared to this one. But I still like the Waterloo one better I think...it's homier :P This one basically just has a track around the lake with a few benches but Waterloo has gazebos and UFO swings...and nothinggg can beat UFO swings :)

We also had community worship tonight so everyone got together and sang songs and heard bible stories :P There were kids there too that were singing and doing actions...reminded me of VBS :( it was nice though haha

anywayy I need to find more stuff to do cuz I think i'm gonna get bored quickly :P I did bring a lot of books, but I think I need more variety haha :P

Carita House: Day 2

Today was a nice day :) I think i'm slowly getting used to what working here is like. It's pretty relaxed...we have to help the core members get ready for their day programs in the morning, clean the house and then we get some time off during the day. In the evenings when they come back we cook dinner and just hang out...haha seriously, this is the most TV i've watched in a longgg time! :P Since it's my first day though I got to sleep in :P

We had a formation meeting this morning and so I met other assistants from other houses. After that I went with my co-worker Maria to her house to help set up her dog cage. Her dog is SO cute! And SO obedient!! It makes me want a puppy more...one day! :P

I'm slowly getting more comfortable in the house. It definately takes time! It's weird though cuz I feel like I could get more comfortable with the core members than with my co-worker quicker...I dunno why. I really like my co-worker though, she's chill and cool but I dunno...I think with me, it just takes time to get comfortable and be my crazy self around people :( I wish I wasn't like this and I could just be really comfortable so that I could adjust easier but that's okay. The environment is still really great and they definatly try to make it like a house feel :)

aww...just now one of the core members, Kevin, he knocked at my door. I thought it was going to be Maria or something but it was Kevin and when I opened the door he was like see you tomorrow! awww :) Makes me happy :) I guess cuz I didn't say good night or anything to him...he even made me a welcome sign when I got in yesterday :P

ya...haha work is not bad at all...just need time to adjust so keep me in your prayers :)

Anyway, need to start waking up early tomorrow so I need to start sleeping earlier...my sleeping schedule is still messed up from finals -__-

Carita House: Day 1

I'm finally settled in :) I'm all unpacked and my room feels more like my room now :)

I think this summer is definatly gonna be different. It'll be fun but also very challenging. It's going to take some getting used to and i'm not the best when it comes to adapting to change :(

It's only my first day but I already love the people that live here. I got in around 3:30 this afternoon, Clara and Somi stayed for dinner. Thanks girls <3 I think that helped, having them here while interacting with the people in the house...not having to totally be by myself and trying to get comfortable :P

It was Kevin's birthday today (he's one of the core members that live in my house) so we had a party :P People from all the houses came and we had cake :) Afterwards we went to the English Parlour for some wine :P

It is definatly different from your everyday job. You're basically just living life with them :) I'm excited but I know it's also going to be difficult.

I don't feel my best right now, very tired both physically and mentally. Pray for me please :) Just for strength to get through each day and to really just be open, to learn from these individuals and be able to shine God's love :)

my room :)

But have not love, I am nothing

How amazing is God's love that despite all my inequities He still loves me. Even though I keep sinning,, turning away and pushing Him away, He never gives up on me. He stays the same, His unfailing love.

Love never fails. It's so hard to love. I struggle constantly with loving those around me, whether with my words, expressions or actions. It's easy to be annoyed and after awhile forget that you should love them. Instead you get caught up by the little things that never used to bother you...but LOVE.

Love is what we're called to do. We love because Jesus loved us. And how great is God's love that He died for us? Love is sacrifice. Sacrificing yourself for family and friends and even those that hate you. How do we love like Jesus. How can we have a heart like Jesus?

Without Jesus we can never do it. We're humans and fall short. We're imperfect and incapable. I need Jesus to help me and remind me to constantly love those around me. Even when its hard. How small is our strength when we falter in times of trouble?

But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When Jesus comes, all our baggage and burdens, everything we can't do and aren't...it all disappears because Jesus fills us. He makes me complete. He fills the emptiness and void inside of me. It is Jesus and only Jesus who can make me feel whole again!

Proverbs 24

I've realized how easy it is to fall into the ways of this world. I don't mean like drinking, partying, sleeping around and stuff like that, but in subtle ways.

It's easy to forget the hurt and suffering of this world when I myself is not part of it. It's easy to ignore the things friends around you do and say, even if it goes against what you believe. It's easy to just let it be instead of confronting. And it's so easy to just get consumed into my own life, that I forget my purpose here and the greater kingdom of God.

I guess one thing i've really struggled with this year is witnessing. How can I stand out as a Christian and be different amongst my non-Christian friends? How can I show them how amazing this personal relationship with Jesus is? Sometimes it's just easier to live like this world instead of counter culturally as Jesus calls us to do.

"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength? Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter...Fear the lord and the king, my son, and do not join with the rebellious, for those two will send sudden destruction upon them, and who knows what calamities they can bring?...But it will go well with those who convict the guilty, and rich blessing will come upon them. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."

All throughout Proverbs 24 I feel like God is just addressing this fear I have. Though when you read it, it may seem extreme...it's the truth. All my friends i'm not witnessing to, they are just being led away to death. I don't want friends and family that I love to subject to such sudden destruction. But yet, every time, each time, i'm afraid. I'm afraid to say something or speak out. I KNOW that confronting with love is what we're called to do. When we see our brothers falling, do we just stand there and watch?

But why is it so hard?
Why is it so hard to share about Jesus when it's so easy to talk about other stuff? Meaningless stuff? I mean in the end, it all just comes down to whether you know Jesus or not and whether or not you have that eternal life...why do we consume ourselves so easily into the ways of this world?

I dunno...I have a feeling this summer is going to be different in so many ways. I don't know what God's going to do but I feel like it's going to be big :)

He knows my heart

It's amazing how doing devos can change your day and shape your actions and decisions.

Today I just opened my bible up to a random proverbs and it was proverbs 29. I've been struggling a lot lately with friends and family, with patience. I've been noticing lately that i'm easily frustrated and start to get annoyed at a lot of things. I didn't know if it was the stress building up or the people i'm constantly with, but anyway, proverbs 29 verses 8 and 11 says: "Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger." and "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

I realize lately that when things bug me or annoy me, I easily just start ranting and venting to my friends or family. I used to not be like that! I could keep myself under control and realize that everyone has a bad day or it may just a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Instead now, I forget about that and sometimes blow it out of proportion that after awhile, the little thing that first annoyed me has become some big thing that's not even related anymore.

It was a good reminder today while reading that. It's crazy how God is so much greater than my heart, He knows my heart, He knows what I struggle with... I need to turn back to Him instead of depending on friends and family because in the end, we're all humans. We fall short, we fail, we struggle but God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He stays the same, His unfailing love!