Thursday, March 8, 2012
i need to relax haha i need to find a place where i can just do absolutely nothing and think about absolutely nothing. i just need to have fun hahaha i love conversations with people but i feel like i've only been having heavy conversations lately. i love them, don't get me wrong but i think i need to just play, relax, breath...eat. hehhehe
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Everything is truly a gift from God. If we were given what we deserved daily-it would be death. It's crazy how all the messages i've been hearing this past week has been centered around, is Jesus sufficient for me? Is He enough for me? If I am stripped of everything, is having Jesus enough?
A lot of truths has been exposed to me this week and it is seriously by the grace of God that his spirit has broken me. We are completely incompletely without Jesus who is the only one that ever did, ever could, ever does and ever will fulfill and complete me. God chooses people to become something they never were to do something they've never done. Being chosen by God is an act of his mercy, his grace and his love for us. Because he loves us, he chooses us and challenges us into big, scary and risky things. We are reluctant but do we choose to answer it or ignore it? Even allowing us a choice is another act of God's love and grace.
I want Jesus to be the one who defines me, not my family, friends, education or society. We are so synchronized with our own culture, how our culture views and accepts things that we become so out of sync with the culture of God's kingdom and what he calls for us to do. Do we choose to be comfortable and settle or do we choose into the scary, painful and risky things that we will experience for God's kingdom?
It's scary. We will experience pain and rejection but I also believe our God is a big God and he is true to his promises. He promises us a hundred fold of what we give up for him and I know that what he has in store for us is so much bigger and better than what we can see for ourselves. The process will be a hard one but it's so worth it because at the end of the day, the only thing that matters and satisfies is Jesus. We can continue looking our whole lives, seeking for things and people to complete us but Jesus is the only one.
A lot of truths has been exposed to me this week and it is seriously by the grace of God that his spirit has broken me. We are completely incompletely without Jesus who is the only one that ever did, ever could, ever does and ever will fulfill and complete me. God chooses people to become something they never were to do something they've never done. Being chosen by God is an act of his mercy, his grace and his love for us. Because he loves us, he chooses us and challenges us into big, scary and risky things. We are reluctant but do we choose to answer it or ignore it? Even allowing us a choice is another act of God's love and grace.
I want Jesus to be the one who defines me, not my family, friends, education or society. We are so synchronized with our own culture, how our culture views and accepts things that we become so out of sync with the culture of God's kingdom and what he calls for us to do. Do we choose to be comfortable and settle or do we choose into the scary, painful and risky things that we will experience for God's kingdom?
It's scary. We will experience pain and rejection but I also believe our God is a big God and he is true to his promises. He promises us a hundred fold of what we give up for him and I know that what he has in store for us is so much bigger and better than what we can see for ourselves. The process will be a hard one but it's so worth it because at the end of the day, the only thing that matters and satisfies is Jesus. We can continue looking our whole lives, seeking for things and people to complete us but Jesus is the only one.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
at peace :)
as reading week is coming to an end i have to say it was a much needed restful and somewhat productive week! in terms of school, not so much but coming out of this week i feel at peace with post-graduation uncertainty.
i was struggling a lot between whether or not i should intern with ivcf or if teacher's college was the path God was calling me to. the question i struggled a lot with was am i saying no to God if i say no to ivcf? and the answer obviously is no. i realize that ivcf truly has so much to offer me. in terms of growing myself, being stretched and pulled, brokenness revealed and healed, becoming more aware and learning more about who Jesus is and what he wants for me...i know ivcf can offer me that and i truly desire that as well. but as i was going through my discerning process i'm learning to see that ivcf in many ways is comfortable for me to. i know the organization, how it works, the people in it, in some ways it's just an extension of what i'm doing now but in another place and in a different community. i don't doubt that i'd grow and learn a lot but it is still something familiar to me.
with teacher's college i was afraid to say yes because i thought that if i said yes it would mean a pause in my growth with Jesus. but that is not at all true or will i allow that to be true. i think going to teacher's college will be hard and difficult in so many different levels. i'll have to immerse myself with a different community altogether, people who aren't christians and people who haven't come from good and loving families like mine. i believe though that God can use this opportunity to open my eyes more into the hurt that breaks his heart. i believe he can take this opportunity to show me more of how my gifts can be used to glorify him and bring his kingdom to earth.
i guess for me in making my decision to go to teacher's college i'm really asking God to send me out and reach the broken. i know i can do that on campus but in some ways i feel like i wanna get my feet dirty (?) i want God to show me more of his kingdom and more of his heart and his love for his people. i think i will still grow a lot on this path but it'll be a different type of growth than i've been growing. it's like God's been molding the left side of my body and now it's type to mold the right side.
i understand that i'm not done growing on my 'left' side but i guess i'm really excited for God to show me new things and to take me into new risks for him.
both interning and teacher's college are great things. i'm realizing that now. there is no right or wrong decision and God can use me in both but he left me with a choice to pick. he's in both those paths and i will grow in both of them so i'm at peace with my decision :) i'm not saying no to Jesus when i pick teacher's college and even on this path there are so many things i'm fearful of but i'm just excited to have this new opportunity in front of me for God to show me a different side of himself!
i'm saying all these things with the assumption that i'll get into teacher's college hahaha but i think even if i don't, i am at peace as well. i can take my year off to follow my other passions and discover God in new ways as well :) all in all now i'm just ready to graduate! i'm anticipating what's next and what's to come!
i was struggling a lot between whether or not i should intern with ivcf or if teacher's college was the path God was calling me to. the question i struggled a lot with was am i saying no to God if i say no to ivcf? and the answer obviously is no. i realize that ivcf truly has so much to offer me. in terms of growing myself, being stretched and pulled, brokenness revealed and healed, becoming more aware and learning more about who Jesus is and what he wants for me...i know ivcf can offer me that and i truly desire that as well. but as i was going through my discerning process i'm learning to see that ivcf in many ways is comfortable for me to. i know the organization, how it works, the people in it, in some ways it's just an extension of what i'm doing now but in another place and in a different community. i don't doubt that i'd grow and learn a lot but it is still something familiar to me.
with teacher's college i was afraid to say yes because i thought that if i said yes it would mean a pause in my growth with Jesus. but that is not at all true or will i allow that to be true. i think going to teacher's college will be hard and difficult in so many different levels. i'll have to immerse myself with a different community altogether, people who aren't christians and people who haven't come from good and loving families like mine. i believe though that God can use this opportunity to open my eyes more into the hurt that breaks his heart. i believe he can take this opportunity to show me more of how my gifts can be used to glorify him and bring his kingdom to earth.
i guess for me in making my decision to go to teacher's college i'm really asking God to send me out and reach the broken. i know i can do that on campus but in some ways i feel like i wanna get my feet dirty (?) i want God to show me more of his kingdom and more of his heart and his love for his people. i think i will still grow a lot on this path but it'll be a different type of growth than i've been growing. it's like God's been molding the left side of my body and now it's type to mold the right side.
i understand that i'm not done growing on my 'left' side but i guess i'm really excited for God to show me new things and to take me into new risks for him.
both interning and teacher's college are great things. i'm realizing that now. there is no right or wrong decision and God can use me in both but he left me with a choice to pick. he's in both those paths and i will grow in both of them so i'm at peace with my decision :) i'm not saying no to Jesus when i pick teacher's college and even on this path there are so many things i'm fearful of but i'm just excited to have this new opportunity in front of me for God to show me a different side of himself!
i'm saying all these things with the assumption that i'll get into teacher's college hahaha but i think even if i don't, i am at peace as well. i can take my year off to follow my other passions and discover God in new ways as well :) all in all now i'm just ready to graduate! i'm anticipating what's next and what's to come!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Discernment.
Things I'm sure of:
-you can't screw up God's will
-whatever path you take, God is in it
-saying yes to Jesus is the scariest but most life-giving decision you can make
...then why is it so hard?
-you can't screw up God's will
-whatever path you take, God is in it
-saying yes to Jesus is the scariest but most life-giving decision you can make
...then why is it so hard?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)