the psalm i read this morning was about the israelites and how God took them out of egypt, dried up the red sea and they believed in him. but then they grew weary and tired in the desert. they forgot everything he did for them, his goodness, his kindness and love and they started to rebel against God. (it's psalm 106, i just found it :P)
sometimes i feel like i am like that. i am quick to believe when i see God in my life. when God shows me his faithfulness and goodness, i believe anything is possible and in his goodness. but then when things are stagnant (or when i think they are) i start doubting and shaking until God shows himself to me again.
this has been my whole bangladesh fundraising process i think. i always worry about where i'm going to find $4700 but each time God is faithful. everytime i'm worrying, he'll show me something that'll make me realize how dumb i'm being and to completely trust him. but then things slow down, i don't see much happening and i again i starting asking...where am i going to find this money? each time God is like AMANDA! how many times must i show you in order for you to completely trust in ME and my provisions??!
i am a little ashamed of myself that i do keep worrying and not being able to completely let go and just trust that everything will be provided. i believe it will, but i also believe i have to do something about it so in partial, i feel like i rely a bit on myself which shouldn't be the case.
anyway, i just got an update that i am now at 66% from 50% 3 days ago so i do believe in God's provision. i just wish i didn't need these things to boost my confidence. i am encouraged though and each time, i feel like i am learning to trust more and more...which is a good thing i guess ^^
What a way to close my Sunday :) Thanks for sharing what you read with us!
ReplyDeleteI was at NT today (and bumped into your friend Paulynn) and we learned about how God dried up the Red Sea for the Israelites to cross (it was actually a longer route for them), and they grumbled against Him despite them being saved...the passages weren't from Psalm though, but rather 1 Corinthians 10 (v1-10)and Exodus 13-16 (specifically ch16)!