be in the present. i hate change, the prospect of change and anything to do with change. it's easy to dwell in the past or what is to come but the most important thing is to be in the present. with so much change coming in my life, it's easy to think about that, forget the things of the present and focus my energies elsewhere. that's not fair. i'm still here. i need to give my heart to everything that i'm a part of now.

there are exactly ten days before the end of my undergraduate classes. as much as i want this hell week to be over, i will miss these late nights studying with such dear friends. late nights, late snacks, a little bit of craziness, fun and lots of love.

this is how is see it:

i'm on the edge of a cliff in the heart of a volcano. there's a whisper telling me to jump in. obviously everything that's sane and everyone i know is yelling for me to turn around, run away, leave. but......i jump. why? not sure. maybe i'm delirious. but the whisper promised to catch me before i get consumed in the lava...so why not?

so i jump. it's getting hotter and hotter. i'm getting closer and closer to the lava and my fears and doubts build. uh...i jumped! you said you were going to catch me..i'm get REALLY close now. bits of lava are bubbling and my skin gets licked a couple times. it is extremely painful......i'm holding on to the promise that i will be caught. in his timing. i just need to trust.

everything is a blessing. you can't experience great joy until you have experienced great suffering. the suffering is worth it because the joy is greater. we have to hang on to the hope that in moments when it seems like a crisis, when the pain may be unbearable, that there is freedom.

right now i feel like i'm in the land between. on my right i see a foggy stretch of space. there are rain clouds, everything is dark and the concrete paths leading to old, worn down buildings are all cracked. there is an eerie silence with a couple crows flying around. the trees have no leaves and it just looks empty...not really that inviting.

on my left it's warm. the sun is bright, there's a rainbow out, blue jays and robins are singing. there's laughter and colour and it's comfortable.

i'm stuck in the middle. which direction do i go? everything that makes sense, everything that's logical prompts me to walk towards the left. it's safe there! it's comfortable. that's what everyone expects! it's not scary, i'll know what's there...
but then there's a small whisper that's telling me to go right. go right! this scariness, it's only what you can see. you can't see the rolling hills, the blooming flowers, the luscious trees and the warm sunny breeze that's beyond. trust me. it's there. take the risk. walk through that scary space, there's more for you, i promise.

dvlb.

time to de-stress.

I'm not too sure what's going on right now but let's just say Jesus is HUGE and his plan is CRAZY! Things are WHACK! hahaha it's amazing how God works in our lives, the people he places in our lives to go through with together and how everything just falls into place or aligns with each other!